Tuesday, November 28th 2006
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Monday, November 27th 2006
Giving Great Gift: How To Think The Thought That Counts.
posted @ 1:00 pm in [ General ]
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Giving Great Gift: How To Think The Thought That Counts.
by: eBobb
Here it is in a nutshell: it s the thought that counts because it s the thought itself that is actually the gift. The material expression of that thought is what you wrap up in brightly colored paper and shiny ribbons. But if the gift inside does not clearly reveal The Thought, it may be splashy or clever or impressive but it will never be truly great. What, then, in our quest to give great gift, is The Thought We Should Be Thinking?
Actually, it s so simple, I m almost embarrassed to say it. But The Thought We Should Be Thinking is: what do I want? Sound crazy? After all, if what we want is a fur coat/car/ticket to the Super Bowl/vacation cruise/puppy, and the giftee happens to live in the Bahamas, doesn t have a driver s license, hates football, gets seasick, and is allergic to dogs, wouldn t giving them what we want be . . . well, thoughtless? Indeed. But the question is not: what material expression do I want? Since the thought itself is the gift, the only real question is: what thought do I want?
And the thought we want from others most of us, anyway is to be thought of as special. We d like to know that they listen to what we say and that they care about what we want. What greater gift can there be? But how can we give it? Why, by listening to what people say, and by caring about what they want. And if the gift lets them know this, it will be a Great Gift.
White lilacs, your wife said once, wistfully. My father gave me the most enormous bouquet of white lilacs for my sixteenth birthday. And you listened. And you cared. And an enormous bouquet of white lilacs was the Great Gift that you gave her on . . . well, her next birthday. With a card that said, You ll always be my Sweet Sixteen.
While your husband was watching a baseball game on TV one Sunday afternoon, he commented, Dad always promised to take me to Cooperstown, to the Baseball Hall of Fame. And he almost managed to sound nonchalant when he added But we never got there. And you listened. And you cared. And you enjoyed the Great Gift together by making arrangements to celebrate your next anniversary in Cooperstown.
Now, while this concept may have spectacular results when applied to our nearest and dearest, don t overlook its potential even in the office-Christmas-party ten-dollar-limit category. Let s say you have to get a gift for Ms. Edwards in Accounting, and the first thought that springs to mind is a pair of Isotoner gloves. But then you say: hey. Ms. Edwards is a pretty cool old lady. Why not give her a Great Gift? Well, if you think she s a pretty cool old lady, that means you ve probably listened to her once or twice. What are some of the things she said? How did she look when she said them? Think, now. Yes! That day in the lunchroom. She was talking about her days in junior college when aha! That s it! When she wrote some sonnets for an English term paper! And how did she look when she said that? Why, Ms. Edwards actually blushed! So you give her a nice little book of sonnets. Maybe with a note inside. Poems for a Poet, perhaps. And she blushes again. Feels good, doesn t it?
And you can keep on feeling good, because there s a virtually unlimited wealth of Great Gift material out there. If you re willing to listen. To your parents and siblings, your spouse, your friends, that nice guy down at the supermarket. You do listen to them, don t you? And you do care about what they want? Well, then. The rest should be easy.
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About The Author
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copyright © 2004 eBobb. All rights reserved
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Visit eBobb - poet, balladeer and philosopher for an assortment of downloadable gifts to give or to keep for yourself. Music, poetry, and eBooks that you ll find nowhere else, plus plenty of free samples, and a little bit of free philosophy thrown in. All absolutely unique, absolutely eBobb. Always there for you at http://www.eBobb.com
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Saturday, November 25th 2006
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Wednesday, November 22nd 2006
Boxing it Up for Christmas
posted @ 1:03 pm in [ General ]
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If there s one thing your introverted child would like for Christmas more than anything else in the whole world, it s a room with a door that closes.
It s not as simple as asking for one. And by the way, a closet will do and even a big box as you ll see. That s how strong the need is for an introvert to have a place of their own. Introverts are territorial because of their great need for personal space. It s important to their sense of well being, their mental and emotional health.
If a child wants to go in their room and close the door, extroverted parents may interpret this behavior as rejection, or worse, being secretive and anti-social. They wonder, What s she hiding? What s wrong with him? Why doesn t s/he want to be part of the family? These are legitimate concerns and since your child can t answer, I d like to explain for them.
There are two reasons, both healthy. (1) One of the reasons is something few people know. Introverts give energy and extroverts receive energy. When introverts are out in the world, because they give energy to other people, they can be drained during the day. That person you see over there who s the life of the party? He s an extrovert and he would be drained if he had to be by himself tonight. The attention he s getting nurtures him. He thrives on it. It fills him up and makes him feel he s alive.
And who s giving him that attention? Likely it s an introvert.
Whenever you see a crowd of people, extroverts are receiving energy and introverts are giving energy. Introverts need to spend about half their time alone, to fill back up again. It s not that we don t love people!
However, there are many introverts who withdraw later in life because they have had such difficulty being understood and getting their needs met, they find it easier to do without . With your help, your introverted child can learn to identify his or her needs and ask for them. But first you must understood in order to give them the support they need.
Let s think for a moment about your child s school day. As much as fifty percent of the learning that s done in lower school is how to become part of society, part of the group. Kids learn how to raise their hands, take turns, line up properly, wait their turn, sit still, use good manners, ask politely for what they want, listen to and follow instructions. These are social skills. They require interaction.
In addition, your child s day can consist of walking to school with others, watching out for a younger sibling, riding a noisy crowded bus, classroom interaction with 20 to 40 other children, figuring out the omnipotent teacher and principal (in middle school, more than one), eating lunch in a big noisy cafeteria, dressing for gym in a crowded noisy locker room, participating in teams and getting the team spirit. After school there are other activities that require socializing, including private music lessons, Brownies and Cub Scouts and sports practice. Socializing is stressful to introverts and they receive no inherent rewards from it.
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As your child gets older, there is pressure to join clubs, take part in extracurricular activities, become part of a clique or group, get dates, go to dances, volunteer or sing in the choir in spare time, join the church car wash on the weekends, spend time caring for aging relatives, etc..
Many children are assured that they will not be successful in life if they don t get into the right college. They are told that this requires a resume full of activities that show leadership ability . The activities I ve mentioned are hard wired for the pleasure and satisfaction of extroverts, who make up 60 to 75% of the school population (indeed of American society). They can be deadly to introverts. [See www.benizer.org on the cost of falsifying type]
If your child is introverted, he or she is in the minority and has the added stress of coping with a world set up by aliens! The ratio of extroverts to introverts is about three to one. It might help if you re an extrovert to imagine yourself forced to spend a vacation on an island with no modern conveniences, no tv, no other people or animals, no electric lights, radios or passive entertainment. Does the thought drive you crazy? Then imagine being made to feel like there was something wrong with you because you couldn t cope with this environment. Imagine being forced to learn skills to succeed on this island world, as if this were the world. Imagine having to do this for at least ten hours a day for the rest of your life.
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A hermit s existence is actually something that could make an introvert smile. What so horrible about that? we wonder. Extroverted babies move toward sound, light, objects and people. .Introverted babies move away from them. As they grow older, introverts are attracted to stress free environments such as a room of their own where they can minimize the things they find distracting i.e., you guess it, close the door!
Lest you think for a moment that your child can t succeed in this world being introverted, being just the way they are, here is a list of introverts who have made tremendous contributions and achieved great things by any standards, during many different time periods: Warren Buffett (the world s richest man or greatest investor), Mother Theresa, Queen Elizabeth II, Jackie Kennedy, Michael Jordan, Michael Douglas, Steven Spielberg, Katherine Hepburn, Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Sir Isaac Newton and Peter the Great. If you would like to learn more, please visit my website. I have many inspirational articles about introverts who took the world on their own terms and were successful.
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I m afraid none of the activities I ve mentioned for a typical school day are of any intrinsic value to introverts, although your child may very much enjoy learning subjects, playing a musical instrument or engaging in sports as an individual. Being required to give enormous amounts of energy to the socialization process, trying to be something s/he isn t, leaves them little time for the things they do find valuable, such as quiet times, reading, walking, collecting things, becoming an expert at something, watching a video or DVD, browsing on the internet (the internet is an introvert s heaven) or playing with pets.
The second reason for the closed door is because introverts focus and concentrate. That s why we consider small talk, unnecessary socializing and group activities such a waste of time. We don t benefit from the social aspect and on the other hand, it destroys our focus and concentration.
Some of us remember being forced by a teacher or by peer pressure to join a study group only to agonize through the hour of wasted chitchat before going home and beginning to really study . It s like double jeopardy. To an introvert, most group activities and study groups are a mystery, if not to say a form of Medieval torture and we are doubly penalized by the time it wastes when we could be studying and the time we have to spend afterwards to make sure we learn the stuff our way.
I run polls on my website to gather information from real people about their introverted experience. Most of them comment on the exhaustion and hopelessness they felt during the school years. They found it almost impossible to keep up with the social demands of school and accomplish other things that they valued. It seemed they were working twice as hard just to stay in place. When your introverted child or teen returns home after days like this, they are exhausted.
If there is one symbol I could pick for the difference between extroverts and introverts, it is the closed door. This is something near and dear to the heart of every introvert that seems to strike terror in the heart of every extrovert.
What are we doing behind the closed door? We re filling up with energy. You may find us lying on the bed staring at the ceiling, listening to the kind of music we like, thumbing through picture albums or collections, writing in our journal, browsing the internet or just rearranging and cleaning our room. We are enjoying some quiet time to ourselves. If we are interrupted, this adds more stress to the stress we re trying to recover from because even when we re relaxing, we are intense and focused. To an introvert, interruptions are stressful. We learn to cope with them as a reality but when we are exhausted, we need to set some limits. Children can t do this without your help and support.
When I wrote about this on an introverts’ forum, Shelley responded quickly, Funny that you should mention [personal space]. I recall moving into a big closet in the room that my older sister and I shared so that I could
have my own private place. I had a bed made on the floor inside there with all the extra blankets and pillows in the house and then I’d go in there and shut the door. Sometimes I’d draw, sometimes I’d just take a nap. By the way, this was when I was grade school age.
Another forum member replied, I have closet envy We moved quite frequently when I was young, and not usually to places where I had a room of my own (really a room at all) until I was a teenager. The couch being my usual bed, you see. But I remember with delight dragging home a refrigerator box, cutting a little door and window, and hanging a night light on an extension cord through the “ceiling.” My Mother, an introvert herself, must have understood, letting me keep the box for as long as we lived in that location.
This Christmas, heck, this weekend, give your introverted kid the gift that keeps on giving personal space. Be it a room of their own with a door that closes, a closet or a box, it s the kindest thing you could do for the little one you love.
About the Author
Nancy R. Fenn is the IntrovertZCoach. Her mission in life is to raise consciousness — introversion is a legitimate personality style.
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Sunday, November 19th 2006
Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names
posted @ 1:03 pm in [ General ]
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Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names
by: Dawnell Harrison
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As with everything, names go through cycles of change with passing generations. I also tend to think that names have improved immensely since the first Elmas, Minervas, Bufords, and Alfreds graced the baby s room wearing appropriate nametags on their cribs.
A country of tradition, we still hold tightly to such commoners as Becky, Wendy, Mike and Bill. And being the trendsetters of a diverse time, we also like originality. Girls are acquiring sophistication with names such as Breanna and Kyla while boys are being called Dusty and Cameron, cute yet charming. I do like these names. I even think that the not-so-unique ones are fine. These names have humility and, most importantly, can be spoken without cringing, gagging, or regurgitating. When was the last time you could actually say Bunny and control the ruffling of your nose and the higher level of intonation in your voice? (Not to mention avoiding the picture of this girl nibbling on a very orange carrot.) I put her into a category I like to call the itty bitty Bunny and Kitty committee.
A girl of this stature serves your ex-boyfriend mixed drinks at the local dive bar and leaves the tip on the table because somebody accidentally left it there. She likes to think deeply when scuba diving and yells, run to second base, when a tight end gets the football. This type always has straight, white teeth and never gets fired from her cocktail jobs. She s such an asset. I have my doubts about the advantages being endless though .I mean, how many lawyers, nurses, or even receptionists do you know named Kitty?
The next category is sweetly named the Dandy Candy-land committee. The sound of these names are enough for a life-time supply of insulin shots and give one a compelling urge to stock-up on countless tubes of toothpaste. For instance, Carmel and Candy .even a salt addict would get cheek pangs simply by the sound. Maybe, just maybe, I am a little prejudiced because my ex-boyfriend s new girlfriend is named Candy. Before I know her name, I asked him what it was and he told me. I only had to ask him once .the toothache and acne breakout brings back terrible memories.
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Yes, I know, you re wondering if Kitty and Candy work together serving my ex-boyfriend mixed drinks. Not only do they work together, they are also very close. Last week, Carmel overheard Candy telling Kitty, You re the best friend I ve had since my cat, Mufkins, died.
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About The Author
Owner www.spiritwhole.com, graduate University of Washington, poet, animal lover.
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Sunday, November 19th 2006
Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck
posted @ 1:00 pm in [ General ]
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Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck
by: Nisandeh Neta
“and they lived happily ever after…
That is how our favorite childhood fairytales have always ended.
That is how the romantic movies from Hollywood always end.
And that is what the media agencies advertisements promise will happen if we’ll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or life insurance policy.
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In short, “”…and they lived happily ever after…”" is what we have been conditioned to believe our intimate relationship should look like.
WAKE UP FOLKS!
I hate to tell you this, but… GROW UP!
We were conditioned to believe that life was going to be a bed of roses… a piece of cake… a walk in the park.
Of course, what ‘they’ forgot to mention when we were kids, was that roses have thorns, cakes contain calories, and a walk in the park significantly increases your odds of stepping in dog’s you know what…
One of the major myths we were led to believe in, since the 12th century, is the myth of romantic love.
A myth that nowadays has its new-age label - the well-known ‘Soul Mate’.
Romantic love is probably the most popular path to personal satisfaction and self-esteem in the western world.
In our modern culture, we replaced religion with romantic love as the means by which we seek ecstasy, meaning and wholeness.
Romantic love does not only mean ‘loving someone’, it also means ‘being in love’.
When we are in love we believe we have found the ultimate meaning of life, as revealed in another human being - our Soul Mate.
We feel ‘instantaneous completeness’ and believe that the so-called missing piece to our life and to ourselves, has finally been found.
Life suddenly seems to have a wholeness, meaning, direction and purpose.
There is this intensity, which lifts us high above our usual perception of reality.
For most people, these exciting feelings are assumed to be the definite signs of the ultimate lover.
Unconsciously, we immediately create a demand that our lover always provide us with this feeling of ecstasy and intensity.
Despite that ecstasy, within a few weeks (or months) we usually encounter feelings of loneliness, alienation and frustration over our inability to create intimate, loving and committed relationship.
Usually we blame our lover for failing us.
What seldom occurs to us is that, it is we who need to transform our own unconscious beliefs, expectations and demands, which we impose upon our lover.
Once aware of it, we realize that this relationship brings unhealed emotional ’stuff’ into our conscious mind.
Only from this perspective, can we assume our responsibility for the situation and begin to deal with what comes to the surface.
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From this point of recognition, we can then begin to heal ourselves.
I am convinced that we join in relationship with another person with the purpose of supporting each other’s personal-growth process.
In order to support us on our path we need this private trainer or coach to walk with us.
Imagine one of those famous football or basketball trainers, as your personal coach, 24 hours a day, all year round…
I can see your horrified expression from here…
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Well, this personal coach is your Soul Mate.
… not exactly what you had in mind when you saw that gorgeous someone at a party…
The role of your Soul Mate is to confront you when you’re losing your integrity, to kick your ass when you’re getting lazy, push your buttons until you gain clarity of your destructive patterns, and so on…
If you and your partner had both attained enlightenment, you probably wouldn’t have so much trouble.
Your partner would have all the compassion in the world, and you would have the overview to see your partner’s contribution to your life.
And then of course, if both of you are fully enlightened, then you probably don’t need a Soul Mate…
However, assuming that both of you haven’t reached that stage of full self-realization yet, life is a bit more complicated…
As Karen Scalf Linamen suggests, the phrase “”And they lived happily ever after”" is actually a long-forgotten medieval punch line that, when translated, means, “”And, boy - ha ha! - are they in for the surprise of their lives!”"
Have fun…”
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Monday, November 13th 2006
How to Have the Perfect Christmas
posted @ 1:02 pm in [ General ]
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How to Have the Perfect Christmas
by: Kimberly Chastain
This year will be different. I vow I won t get stressed out over presents, parties, cards, Christmas plays, putting up the tree and decorating, and all the many other tasks of the season. I will remember the true meaning of Christmas.
Do you find that all the Christmas chores steal your joy?
For unto us a child is born - Aahh the miracle of birth. The true miracle of our Savior s birth. As Christian mothers we are doubly blessed to celebrate Christmas. We know the joy and pain of childbirth. We can imagine an exhausted Mary looking at her truly perfect, holy baby.
How can we recapture the joy and the simplicity of the first Christmas?
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Following are some suggestions for making this the Perfect Christmas
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1. Decide how you want your family to experience the true meaning of Christmas. Ex. Will you help another family with presents? Our family now has a tradition of doing Christmas boxes for Samaritan s Purse. Our children love picking out items for the box and praying for the child who receives their box.
2. Prioritize what is most important to you. Maybe you can t do it all. You may choose not to send Christmas cards, but do a New Years note.
3. Decide what parties you can and cannot attend. Sometimes as a family we may rarely be home in December. So much for family time.
4. If you have young children, remember how important, normal routine and sleep schedule are for younger children and you. Taking a cranky toddler shopping is not a good experience for anyone.
5. Decide what traditions you want for your own nuclear family. Sometimes we are so busy going to extended families homes we don t get to start our own family traditions. Try to have a leisurely Christmas morning with children enjoying their toys before rushing off to anywhere.
6. Start a tradition of celebrating Jesus birthday. Ex. Happy Birthday Jesus cake, reading the Christmas story before opening presents, or children having their own child size Nativity set to play with and tell the Christmas story.
7. Set a limit on Christmas spending and stick to it. Don t celebrate Jesus birth by being in debt in January.
8. Take time to pray and think about the most precious gift of all. Often our quiet times are the first to go when we get so busy. Using an advent calendar with children will also help them focus on the true meaning of Christmas.
9. Be kind to yourself. You may not be able to do everything like your Mom did. Perhaps you can make slice-and-bake cookies with your children instead of homemade cookie dough. Your children will remember the fun of decorating cookies, not who made the cookie dough.
10. Remember that you are not superwoman and you can t do it all. Sit down with your husband and decide who can do what on your list. Children can help put stamps on Christmas cards. Be kind to yourself and rest in our Savior s loving arms.
I don t know if you or I will have the Perfect Christmas, but we can make a conscious effort to focus on our Lord. Things will go wrong and we will get stressed, but we need to keep our eyes on Him. We need to show and teach our children that Christmas is not about Santa and receiving gifts. Christmas is about the ultimate gift that we can never repay.
So, I wish you a Perfect Christmas with Christ birth as your focus, and that you would be kind to yourself. Set reasonable expectations for yourself and experience the true joy of Christmas.
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About The Author
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Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping Christian women make the most of their lives. She is the author of the on-line course, I Can t Say No and Pearls of Encouragement for Christian Working Moms, a free e-book. If you suffer from I Can t Say No Syndrome, visit Kimberly s site today for the details on an exciting email course that s sure to set you free! http://www.christianworkingmom.com/online.htm.
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Friday, November 10th 2006
Holistic Junction's Featured School of the Week: Clinic @ Nature's Atrium
posted @ 1:03 pm in [ General ]
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This week, Holistic Junction is featuring the Clinic @ Nature’s Atrium.
Established in 1999, the Cinic @ Nature’s Atrium is situated just Northwest of Grand Rapids Museums, Arenas and Botanical Gardens in secluded Howard City, Michigan.
Accredited by AMTA, ABMP, and the IMA; Clinic @ Nature’s Atrium offers amenities such as lab room and study room. Additionally, financing the cost of your educational goal is made easy at Nature’s Atrium because they offer pay-per-class, hands-on training at reasonable, low cost to its students. Courses run from 500 - 700 hours.
Having a knowledgeable staff, and extensive practice experience, Clinic @ Nature’s Atrium provides instruction in:
* Craniosacral Therapy
* Massage (including Chair Massage, Shiatsu, Swedish, Polarity Therapy, Hot Rock, Sports Massage, Myofascial Release, Lyphatic Drain, Prenatal Massage, and Geriatric Massage)
* Reflexology and
* Reflexology Therapy
Furthermore, Owner & director of Clinic @ Nature’s Atrium, Ms. Mari Wise, CNHP, CR lends her medical background expertise, along with highly-trained massage therapy staff to assist clients with individual health needs.
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To learn more about or to enroll in the Clinic @ Nature’s Atrium, please visit: Clinic @ Nature’s Atrium today!
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02/28/2005 - Holistic Junction’s Featured School of the Week: Clinic @ Nature’s Atrium
by C. Bailey-Lloyd
aka. Lady Camelot
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About the Author
C. Bailey-Lloyd
aka. Lady Camelot
Public Relations Director &
Staff Writer for
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Thursday, November 9th 2006
Affordable Insurance Quotes To Save You Money!
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Affordable Insurance Quotes To Save You Money!
by: Mike Yeager
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Originally health insurance in the United States took the form of a voluntary program. Such programs date from about 1850, when health insurance was provided chiefly by cooperative mutual benefit and fraternal beneficiary associations. Insurance quotes can now be obtained online from the internet.
Insurance quotes for life insurance, originally conceived to protect a man’s family when his death left them without income, has developed into a variety of policy plans. In a whole life policy, fixed premiums are paid throughout the insured’s lifetime; this accumulated amount, augmented by compound interest, is paid to a beneficiary in a lump sum upon the insured s death; the benefit is paid even if the insured had terminated the policy.
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When looking for individual health insurance or other insurance quotes remember that “Individual” refers to the person buying the coverage, but the individual health insurance covers your whole family. You may have to pay more for your coverage than if you were part of a large organization, however it is possible to locate bargains that actually save you money over what you would have to pay if you simply left a company and picked up the cost of your COBRA.
Many people today have opted to be self-employed which carries the added necessity of acquiring individual health insurance for them and their families. Consider it a necessary expense that will actually save you money in the long-term. Insurance quotes can now be found on the internet. Get a free insurance quote and you’ll find that you can save some money.
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Thursday, November 9th 2006
posted @ 1:02 pm in [ General ]
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