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Easy Study Skills for Exams

 by: Ian McAllister

Easy Study Skills for Exams

Study skills: do you start reading at one end of your library and try to read through to the other end?

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More Study Skills - what not to study

Whole books

Your lecturer tells you to read “War and Peace”. If you have study skills you won’t! Even with perfect memory - how much of the book can you cover in an exam essay that takes 40 minutes to write?

Look through the library for abridged versions of your books, or commentaries… Now you’re using your study skills.

Buy your textbooks 2nd hand. Why do you think they are in perfect condition? Because the last students hardly opened them!

Why should you buy books that the last student didn’t read? Now you’re thinking! Now you’re using study skills.

Whole syllabus

One benefit of attending classes is that you get a skeleton outline to apply your study skills. The skeleton will be complete for the sake of completeness. But only some parts matter to your study skills.

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Study yourself - you’re interesting aren’t you?

Each day write down at what time of day you didn’t mind using your study skills, and could really get down to work. Write down the times when you hated to study. I study best early in the morning. You might study best late at night.

Do you work best in a totally silent room, or with background music?

Do you work better if you are petting the dog or does it interfere with your study skills?

Use your spying study skills

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Find past exam papers in the library. Put them in order by date, then go through the earliest one, and write down the subjects in a column at the left of your page. Put the date at the top of the second column and a tick for each subject. Now put the date of the next paper and a tick opposite each subject that is repeated, and write in any new subjects.

Do the same for all the years that you have. Why is the date important? Look at your table. If a subject appeared every year from the left, then suddenly stopped appearing it probably means that the examiner changed. Study all the subjects that appear every year first. Then study those that appear four years out of five… you get the idea.

Important study skills - Make a calendar

Plan in detail which subjects you’ll study on which days until the exam.

Don’t be too ambitious. You already know that at some times of the day you can’t use your study skills. You know that you won’t want to study on your birthday or Christmas day or… Just be realistic. A calendar that gives you over a thousand hours of study isn’t as good as one that gives you 400 hours that you can stick to.

Become an expert

You’ve used your study skills to cut out big chunks of your syllabus. Use the time you save to learn more about the parts you’ve left than the examiner knows. Use the internet to search for exciting snippets of information about your shortened syllabus.

Perhaps your examiner doesn’t know the exact day of the week on which an important bit of history happened. Perhaps you’ve forgotten what you read about it, but write down your best guess. The examiner will be impressed, because he doesn’t know that you got it wrong!

Study skills for the day of the exam

Everyone will tell you that if you don’t know it, it is too late to learn. They are wrong! They are talking about long-term memory. You will be using short-term memory.

As you are sitting outside the exam room study your formulae, or dates, or anything else that you have difficulty remembering. Whenever the examiner says that you can start writing, write down all these things on scrap paper. You have managed to remember them for ten minutes. You can now forget them until you need them again, which may be never.

Study skills in the exam

“That isn’t allowed!” you exclaim. It definitely is allowed. If you have a multiple choice paper just miss every question that you don’t know. There is usually another related question somewhere. When you see it, you will work out the answer to the question that you didn’t know. That is study isn’t it?

Conclusion

Study smart - not longer than everyone else. Start with a free report on the most powerful exam technique.

About The Author Ian McAllister Ian McAllister’s life has convinced him that writing essays is the best of study skills. Get your free report on writing successful essays. http://studying-techniques.com/essays.html

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Fizzy Sherbet A Sweet Science Lesson For Your Kids

 by: Lindsay Small

Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop was probably my favorite treat as a child, but I never knew what was in the sherbet and why it sparkled and tingled on my tongue! Try making some with your kids and enjoy a mini science lesson in the process.

The basis of the sherbet is icing sugar (confectioners sugar). 50g will make enough for about 6 children. For that amount you will also need a scant teaspoon each of bicarbonate of soda and citric acid. You can buy the latter, in the form of a white powder, very cheaply in small quantities from your chemist or pharmacy. Children will also enjoy having a lollipop or liquorice stick to dip into the sherbet.

Simply mix all the powders together thoroughly, divide into separate containers, and provide something to dip with. Fingers will do at a pinch, but there will be a lot of stickiness involved! Let the kids try dipping into some plain icing sugar as well as the sherbet mixture, to compare the two. They will be amazed at the difference.

So where does the fizz come from? It is a reaction between the citric acid (the same acid as in lemons) and the bicarbonate of soda, which is an alkali. In this case the chemical reaction happens on your tongue, as the two dry ingredients mix with water (saliva) and create a gas in the form of lots of tiny little bubbles. The bubbles provide the tingle in your mouth.

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You are creating the same chemical reaction when you drop a bath bomb into your bath water. The active dry ingredients which again include bicarbonate of soda and citric acid react when they meet the water of the bath. And you get the same fizzing reaction if you add vinegar, another acid, to bicarbonate of soda. In this case, however, the reaction happens immediately because the vinegar is liquid. Combining vinegar and bicarbonate of soda is actually an old-fashioned cleaning recipe, used to help remove stubborn stains in the kitchen. Perhaps your kids could try scrubbing the sink with the mixture and a kitchen sponge to see how well it works!

Now, back to your fizzy sherbet. Remember, to keep your sherbet for any length of time, you will have to keep it dry. Store it in little re-sealable plastic bags ready to dip, or in a plastic food container. Make sure the kids don t eat too much in one go, because it can make your mouth (and stomach) a little sore in very large quantities! If you package little bags of sherbet and lollipops together (perhaps adding a bright ribbon and label) you can make a super addition for a party bag or even an unusual and popular treat to sell at a school fete or other fundraising occasion.

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About The Author Lindsay Small is the creator and editor of ActivityVillage.co.uk - providing the ultimate one-stop resource for parents and teachers looking to educate and entertain their kids. Visit the website at http://www.ActivityVillage.co.uk or subscribe to the free newsletter at http://www.ActivityVillage.co.uk/free_newsletter.co.uk. Oh yes! The endurance till this point means that you are too much speculative in fighting and . Your unusual interest would get a treat in the sections that follow. matildaanna@msn.com

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Horticultural Jobs Board

 by: Gee Hazleton

Horticulture and agriculture have often been the poor relations as far as progress is concerned. Take for instance recruitment; it s not so long ago that farmers, nurserymen and garden centres would simply go to the job centre or put a small ad in the local newspaper to get their staff. Qualifications and/or experience were not always thought to be necessary or even an advantage to gain a job working on the land.

Then, back in 1989, specialist horticultural agencies burst on to the scene with a brand new approach to finding staff and suddenly, just like most other industries, Horticulture had dedicated recruitment companies able to source for them qualified and experienced staff. Almost overnight the industry was revolutionised and progressive companies were able to utilise and build on this new fund of expertise for the benefit of the company, the customers and the industry in general.

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Now a NEW revolution in recruitment has arrived with the development of a unique and dedicated website where trained horticulturists can seek employment and horticultural companies can advertise their jobs.

The specialist site of www.bloominggoodjobs.com claims to be the ideal middle ground between recruitment agencies and advertising in trade journals. Blooming Good Jobs is staffed by a subtle mix of IT professionals, horticulturists and recruitment consultants bringing together a blend of skills that makes this an unbeatable combination to further your horticultural career or find that ideal next member of staff.

We have spent the last 18 months building up a database and mailing list of thousands of horticultural professionals meaning that every job will be immediately seen by a highly specific audience of suitably qualified and experienced candidates. Said Gee Hazleton, marketing director of Blooming Good Jobs. Candidates can see the job details and instantly apply on line. They will also be emailed with every relevant vacancy. They do not need to register their details and the whole operation is both quick and free.

Whilst there are a number of companies offering a similar service as part of their websites; www.bloominggoodjobs.com is the first specialist website in the UK to bring together all of the necessary experience and expertise and offer such a complete package for Garden Centres, Nurseries, Florists, Landscapers and farmers.

Further details from Gee Hazleton

Tel: 08451579310 (direct line)

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Email: Gh@bloominggoodjobs.com

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About The Author Gee Hazleton is a qualified horticulturist working in IT recruitment. Employed with www.bloominggoodjobs.com he has developed the ultimate horticultural jobs board.

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Where do you Cast?

 by: Kimberly Chastain

Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7.

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I don t know if you have ever been fly-fishing or maybe you have seen it on TV. When you go fly fishing you cast your bait way down the river and let it float. That way the fish does not see you and hopefully attacks the bait. I have that vision when we cast our anxiety on God. Do you give Him your anxieties and let them float away and realize He is in control or do you keep the bait close so you can pick up the anxiety whenever you want? If a fly fisherman keeps his bait close he will scare away the fish. If he allows the bait to float downstream he is more likely to catch a fish.

I think when we keep our anxieties close God is unable to work and we are unable to even look down stream. Also, when we keep our anxieties close we focus on the anxiety and take our eyes off of God. When we give our anxieties to God and leave them there He is more able to work and we are better able to rest. I must confess I am good at giving God my burdens and worries, but I quickly take them back. Why wait on God, maybe I can figure this out myself? Do I really trust God to take my worries and take care of them? When I look closely at the above verse I often focus on the first part, cast all your anxiety on Him. The second part is almost as important if not more important. Because, my God cares for me, He wants to carry my burdens and He wants me to bring them to Him. He cares about all my burdens, not just some of them. He loves and wants me to share my worries and concerns. God certainly knows what is best for me and only wants the best.

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So, I ask you Where do you cast? Once you cast your anxiety, do you leave it with God or do you take it back? God cares for you and cares about absolutely everything you care about. He made you and He loves you. Give your loving Father all your anxiety and leave it there. May you rest in His perfect peace.

About The Author Goodness gracious. The endurance till this point means that you are very much curious in father dave’s sermons and christian preaching. Your patience is appreciated, we hope that your curiosity in this would increase. Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping Christian women make the most of their lives. She is the author of the on-line course, I Can t Say No and Pearls of Encouragement for Christian Working Moms, a free e-book. If you suffer from I Can t Say No Syndrome, visit Kimberly s site today for the details on an exciting email course that s sure to set you free! http://www.christianworkingmom.com/online.htm. The Text Information Box above MUST be included for reprint privileges. You may reprint this article in it s entirety with the attached text box. kimberly@jerpat.org

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Voices!

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So many voices crying out for adherence and so many people confused about values, virtues and life.

What voices are calling out to you and what voices are you listening to?

My daughter is just now enjoying her first year in life. As I listen to the voices calling out to young ladies these days, I can’t help but wonder what the popular trend will be when she has to decide which voices she will lend an ear to.

As she enters young adulthood, I hope this is what she finds.

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I hope the popular trend of the day is a video craze called, “Girls Gone MILD!”

No, that’s not a misprint!

I hope it is popular because it depicts women in the following ways:

* As more than full-of-brandy eye candy and toys-for-boys
* As pillars in the community instead of pillows for the community
* As being more concerned about innocence lost than being “not that innocent”
* As valuing their bodies and it shows by how they use them instead of showing them using their bodies to be valued
* As valuing being wanted for a lifetime of nights and not just a night of a lifetime
* As adhering to the belief in moral decency instead of the belief that it is indecent to be moral
* As being applauded more for lifting their skills to the world than lifting their skirts

High hopes, you say!

Yes, maybe high hopes, maybe wishful thinking, or maybe I’m just adding my voice to the mix.

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About the Author

Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, “How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime”. Now available as a FREE PDF Ebook, you can grab your copy and see what happens when one leads-with-the-body in life and relationships by visiting http://advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com

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“Many of us, however, flinch at ‘the peace’. It spoils the privacy and dignity of worship, and we dread it like the onslaught of the dentist’s drill.” — Letter to “The London Telegraph”

Recently I’ve had some interesting conversations with an introvert in the Midwest whose minister tries to grab him and hug him on the way out of church every Sunday and I got to thinking … how prevalent is this situation? Has the recent trend toward hugging in American churches destroyed the experience of community worship for the typical introvert?

This is not an article about faith or God, or really even about booty, the humorous title. It’s an article about introverts and how we relate to others in social situations. Does your church or place of worship call itself “the hugging church”? Are you “invited” to stand up and turn around half way through the service to share “the peace” with people you don’t know?

My Midwestern friend has decided to speak bluntly to his minister and tell him to keep his hands to himself. I wonder that he hasn’t considered changing churches. Few take offence at a soft handshake or nod, but even so, a polite “no thank you” will also suffice.

This uninvited touchy-feely stuff is not pleasing to an introvert and it’s not that we’re “cold” or “strange”. Not at all. What we are is territorial. We’re as territorial about our bodies and our body space as we are about our physical and emotional space. It’s one of our strongest characteristics. If you want to know for sure whether or not you’re an introvert, ask yourself one of these two questions, “Do people exhaust me?” and/or ” How would I feel if someone sat down at my desk and started checking their email?”

It’s our right as introverts to be territorial. We are a legitimate personality type.

Here are some comments from parishioners of churches of various denominations on this topic. As you read these statements, pay attention to how you feel.

Remember, it’s OK not to like hugging or “glad-handing” as my introverted grandfather used to call it disdainfully. This doesn’t make you a bad person.

COMMENTS FROM PARISHIONERS Meta Minton, editor of “The Southern Illinoisan”: “On occasion, I attend a local, holly roller, hallelujah screaming, speaking in tongues, praying until you pass out, Pentecostal church. The congregation there is very warm and loving. Any service you attend, it is guaranteed that you will get hugged by everyone at least once.”

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Anonymous: “We’ve witnessed a trend in which the new, contemporary churches — where video screens and guitars are the norm — seem to be bursting at the seams. The parking lots at those churches don’t seem to be large enough for all those flocking in to hear the message. At the other end of the spectrum, many of the more traditional churches have slowly seen their numbers slide. Churches must change or they’ll die….”

From “The London Telegraph”: “What is troubling is the practice of some members of the congregation of approaching the event with more gusto. These hearties do double hand-shakes like boxers at the start of a bout. Wearing moony smiles and saying ‘the peace’ with soppy sincerity, they leap the nave to greet strangers with full-bosomed embraces, sometimes even rendering the victim breathless for several moments. ‘Turn around and say hello to one another,’ would be the standard invitation from the platform, at which point arms would be flung around anyone and everyone, whether they looked like they wanted a hug or not.”

Pastor Bob of Xxx Church in Michigan: “The church is a place for hugging. I see it on Sunday mornings during our time of fellowship. I see hugging in the Gold Room during coffee time. Our church is a good hugging church. In baseball, they have a DH - a designated hitter who bats instead of the pitcher. At our church, we also have a DH - a designated hugger. I don’t think she’s even 5 feet tall, but this little dynamo, otherwise known as Xxx, is our DH. She hugs everyone with a smile on her face and love in her heart. “Bend over, Darlin’, and give me a hug.”

From “The London Telegraph”: Mr. Moore, in his guise as a modern British Episcopalian, may be prepared to tolerate such assaults. Many of us, however, flinch at “the peace”. It spoils the privacy and dignity of worship, and we dread it like the onslaught of the dentist’s drill.”

Deb Matthews in “True Christian Stories”: “There was just one problem with the church! At the end of the song services, the pastor would always tell the congregation, ‘Turn around and shake hands with someone, or if you’re a woman, give another woman a hug.’ Most of the time, I would just shake hands with the people around me, or a woman next to me might just put her arm around my shoulder and give me a gentle sideways hug. But there was this one woman that went all over the place giving these big bear hugs to everyone, man or woman. I got to where I would check out where she was sitting and make sure I was a long way away from her. But it didn’t seem to matter where I sat — she still seemed to end up over where I was and give me one of those smothering hugs. The church was great except for all that hugging business.” [she goes on to explain how she “overcame” her dread of being hugged !]

IT’S NOT JUST THE HUGGING

It’s not just the hugging. Merilee recently visited a friend in Alabama and was taken to a Sunday service. There was a huge video screen in the front of the room which scrolled the lyrics to the hymns, members of the congregation got up to get coffee or cold drinks whenever they wanted, there was a live band with guitar, saxophone and keyboard, and an elaborate sound system. Merilee is an infp introvert and she said it was a bombardment of sounds, lights and people which kept her separated from any sense of the spiritual. The children were elaborately dressed in expensive Victorian era clothing and, although truly adorable, their presence in the service was also a distraction to Merilee’s sense of the divine.

Elle explains in her GARDEN BLOG, “When I got to the church, opened the door and saw the room full of unknown people, I remembered my usual madness. I froze. I stood at the door, surveyed the room and was overwhelmed. These were my initial observations. It was loud. Way too loud. There was singing, shouting and dancing and I made a mental note to pinch Xxx for not getting me there and seated before the hoopla began. This was a small room and a small congregation. There were musicians, a few people (not enough to be called a choir) singing and I was instantly uncomfortable. Not that I have a problem with praise and worship, but my few experiences with church have been very different. Usually there’s a very quiet service where people give ‘talks’and a choir sings a celestial rendition of Onward Christian Soldiers. This was not that.”

Here are critiques of three churches in Maryland by someone who identifies himself only as “Bob”. I have taken out all references to denomination so, exclusively on the basis of the form of the service, which of these churches would you like to go to?

CRITIQUES

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Church 1 Excellent musical accompaniment to the service was performed by a choir of 12 men, percussion, electronic keyboard, saxophone and guitar. This first class entertainment was applauded during the service and some songs got deserved standing ovations. Hugging happy greeter. Church started late because of talking and socializing. Laughter and applause joined the energetic sermon.

Church 2 Mostly older adults. Some local families. College students. This is the church for Xxx College. Wooden pews. Small choir. Everyone sings. Flute and piano. Quiet. Everyone is attentive. Impromptu humor. No pressure to join. Educational lecture as part of service.

Church 3 The ritual to follow and the hymns to sing are printed in the handout for everyone to easily participate. All hymns from the 18th century. Folding chairs. Mostly adults. Individuals. No hand shaking during service. Easy to hear. Visitor may remain anonymous.

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If you picked #2 of #3, chances are you’re an introvert.

Despite the humorous title of this article, excessive friendliness during worship seems contrived and uncomfortable to many introverts and may be keeping us away from communal worship in droves. If this is the case with you, I encourage you to look further afield until you find a temple, church or synagogue that hnors the intoverted way! And don’t forget to be heard. We have a voice and it’s a legitimate one. How will they know if we don’t tell them?

About the Author

Nancy R. Fenn is The IntrovertZCoach. Learn more and find resources, support, humor and encouragement for introverts at www.theintrovertzcoach.com

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Goal Setting: Pops Proves Its Never Too Late

 by: Vic Johnson

Pops first set the goal in high school, but when he graduated he thought he wasn*t mature enough to pursue it so he enlisted in the U.S. Army.

He dreamed about it as a member of the 82nd Airborne as he became an Army Ranger. Later, in the first Gulf War, he thought about his goal again, as he also did during his service in the Kosovo conflict. For 20 years, through his Army career, a war, marriage and six children, Pops kept the dream and the goal alive.

Never mind that he was considered far too old to pursue his dream, Pops just couldn*t let go.

When he retired from the Army at 39, he decided it was finally time to do something about the goal he*d set so many years before. He moved his family to Columbia, South Carolina and enrolled as a freshman at the University of South Carolina.

No, he wasn*t considered too old for that. Many others, much older, have pursued college degrees for the first time. What Tim *Pops* Frisby did was even more special. At an age when even most professional players have hung up there helmets, he began working out with the South Carolina Gamecocks football team during the winter. Working out with players half his age, all of whom were young enough to be his son, he competed for a position on a Division One major College Football Team.

It was a goal that Pops had lived with for a long time and he began to realize it when coaches invited him back for fall drills. When South Carolina kicked off their season against the University of Georgia, Tim Frisby was on the sidelines wearing Gamecock jersey number 89. On September 25th, against Troy, the legendary Lou Holtz, head coach at South Carolina, sent Pops into the game for its final four plays. *I have a lot of respect for the guy,* Holtz said. *A Ranger, 20 years in the Army, six kids. He loves this team. I thought it would be good to get him in. I*m sorry we could not throw it to him.* But knowing the way that Pops Frisby makes his dreams come true, that*s just a matter of time.

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Frisby, who turns 40 in February, has been featured on ESPN*s *College GameDay.* ABC*s *Good Morning America,* CNN, the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times are all planning stories.

Incidentally, the father of six between the ages of six months and 16, also maintains a 3.88 (out of a possible 4.0) grade point average.

Still think it*s too late for your dream? Goal setting and goal starting is a process that can start at any age and at any time. There*s no need to wait until January 1st to set or start a goal. Goal setting and goal starting doesn*t have to take place at the first of the month, or even the first of the week. I once started on a big goal at midnight on the 24th of the month.

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Tim Frisby accomplished his goal and realized his dream for two simple reasons: he never let time take his dream away, and when the time finally came, he took action. It worked for Pops — and it*ll work for you too!

© 2004 Vic Johnson

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About The Author Vic Johnson is a popular motivational speaker, author and Internet Infopreneur who has created some of the most visited personal development sites on the Web. His flagship site http://www.AsAManThinketh.net has given away over 200,000 eBook copies of James Allen*s classic. He is co-author of *Goals 2004,* which is found at http://www.Goals2005.com © 2004 Vic Johnson

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I Just Love It!

 by: Kristin Johnson

You know the scenario. You’re sitting at the family Christmas gathering and your ten-year-old opens one of Aunt Martha’s itchy homemade sweaters. Or Uncle Bobby, who’s been swearing to lose twenty pounds for years, opens an exercise cycle. Of course, if Uncle Bobby follows the politeness rule, he’ll say, “Thank you, it’s just what I wanted.” (Then he’ll conveniently “forget” about it in the basement or storage closet.) your ten-year-old may not be as skilled at pretending as Uncle Bobby, but kids know enough to know that any answer other than “Thank you, Aunt Martha, I love it” will raise the roof.

There’s nothing wrong with pretending you like a gift that someone has consciously bought because they think it suits you, you’ll like it, or it will be good for you. The saying “It’s the thought that counts” is a truism. Unless you habitually don’t put much thought into your gifts. Have you stopped to look at other people’s faces when they open your gifts?

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The excuse “I’m too busy” only goes so far, and your children know it. If you can take time out of your week to exercise (or not, in Uncle Bobby’s case, and who knows, Uncle Bobby might have a physical reason for not losing those twenty pounds), rent a video, go jogging, go to the movies, you can put some thought into the gifts beyond recycling last year’s “I love it” items or heading to the mall.

It’s important to let kids know that regardless of the gift, sometimes politeness above and beyond the call of duty is required. However, you personally can create more honesty from your kids and with your kids when it comes to gifts.

Remember when your ten-year-old made you a clay ashtray? You don’t smoke, but you cherish that homemade gift. Or how about when your parents hung your macaroni ornaments on the tree and your pictures of Santa on the fireplace? You genuinely said “I love it” and meant it. Your children could tell. Your parents were sincere with you.

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You are what you give, how you give it, and how you receive gifts. It’s easy to moan that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost for our children. It’s harder to turn away from the traditional gift-giving grudge.

Some tips:

• Start making homemade gifts of your own. Gifts of food, especially Christmas cookies, are always in season, and people genuinely love cookies.

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• Start a Christmas cookie party or recipe swap with your family and friends. Get everyone involved. (Be sure to make some healthy alternatives for Uncle Bobby.)

• Make a donation in someone’s name, say to a breast cancer organization, a hospital, a homeless shelter, a nursing home.

• Be honest about what you can spend. Be creative. Perhaps if you can’t buy everyone a nice gift, you can take friends out for a pre-Christmas dinner instead of everyone frantically buying gifts.

• How many times have you said, “Oh, I don’t want anything, I’ll love whatever you give me?” Kids are great at making requests. Take a lesson from them. It’s dishonest to expect others to read your mind and then be disappointed about the gifts you receive.

• Encourage others to be honest about what they want. Even if you can’t afford it you can ask for some wish list items, or say that you make most of your Christmas presents.

• Always let your children know you love them regardless of any gifts that are exchanged.

Above all, remember that the first gift of Christmas is love, and that’s something no one can fake.

About The Author Copyright Kristin Johnson. Kristin Johnson is co-author of the highly recommended Midwest Book Review pick, Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Making Heartwarming Gifts (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9). A downloadablemedia kit is available at our Web site, www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com, or e-mail the publisher (info@tyrpublishing.com) to receive a printed media kit and sample copy of the book. More articles available at http://www.bakingchristmascookies.com. kristin@poemsforyou.com

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Busy Moms, Don’t forget to take time out for you!

 by: Aurelia Williams

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As mothers, we play so many different roles and most of us do not take the time off that we deserve. Just think about it, we play doctor, cook, chauffeur, teacher, lawyer, and the occasional referee as well.

I bet you can remember the last time you did a load of laundry, the last time one of your little ones gave you a hug or perhaps the last time one of your little ones created a little artwork on the wall (smile) but when was the last time you took time out for you?

It is very important to be sure to take time out for yourself. I made a vow a while ago to be sure to take time for myself away from home. I have a husband and 4 children and I schedule time for myself weekly. Whether I am alone or with girlfriends, I find the time that I spend dedicated to myself to be priceless.

I love ‘Girls Day out’! This is where you pal around with your friend or friends and just have fun (childless fun). Just imaging being able to drink an entire cup of tea or coffee before it gets cold or actually eating your entire meal without having to share it. It isn’t selfish to carve out a little ‘me time’ - it is actually a great way to nurture yourself and a wonderful way to rejuvenate yourself as well.

Usually after just a few hours out alone, I can be found cruising home in my van smiling and singing to the radio! I fell totally renewed, rejuvenated and ready to tackle just about ANYTHING (accept the laundry that might be screaming at me - I just yell back and tell it that I will handle it later).

Be sure to steal a few hours for yourself to get away. If for some reason you can’t leave the house perhaps just take some quiet time for yourself after the children are in bed and treat yourself to a good book, a bubble bath a nice movie or anything else that you get enjoyment from.

Here are 5 fun & easy ways to pamper yourself and nurture your mind, body and spirit:

1 - Wake up before the others in the house do and flip through a magazine or simply sip on a hot cup of coffee or tea and enjoy a few uninterrupted moments before the day fully begins.

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2 - Weather permitting, take a nice walk and just enjoy your surroundings. Take note of all the beauty that is surrounding you.

3 - Take short breaks during your day whether you are a stay at home mom, work at home mom or work outside of the home, try doing something for yourself periodically throughout the day. You can close your eyes and daydream, browse through the paper or simply have a short friendly chat with a friend.

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4 - Treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure or even a new hairstyle. We often are so used to treating others that we forget to treat ourselves and forget to let others pamper us.

5 - Take a nice long warm bubble bath. Fill your mind and senses with a nice fragrance and just soak for as long as you can.

About The Author Aurelia Williams, info@reallifecoaching.net Learn more at http://reallifesolutions.net Aurelia Williams is the mom of four busy children, a Personal Life Coach and the owner of Real Life Solutions, which is an informational site that also offers products, articles and a great newsletter. You can also hear Aurelia daily on the WAHM Talk Radio show; she is the Resident Life Coach.

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Humans are not the only species to have some form of communication. Yet we do have the most complex forms of communication extant. Hundreds of differing spoken languages and dialects, several visual languages, and several different alphabets, not to mention the various codes based on tones, beats etc, exist all of which are there for the purpose of communicating with other people. Human beings are social creatures - communication amongst ourselves is part and parcel of everyday life. Yet many people have “poor communication skills”. Why is this so, when we seem to have developed an extraordinarily complex system able to convey a multitude of different purposes?

The Purpose of each Communication - Differences in Style

All communication has a purpose, be that talking to clients over the phone, chatting with friends or presenting a report. What are the purposes here? In all cases there are a variety at work: maintaining or building relationships, answering specific questions, giving an expert opinion, reframing events in light of previous experience to make them seem more normal, exchanging news to satisfy curiosity, teaching others by grouping seemingly separate pieces of information into a cohesive whole, the list could go on for a very long time from just three different situations in which communication is the main part. The important thing to realise here is the differing variables of communication depending on the situation. The main variables are: amount and mode of information received (voice, body language etc), role being played, number of people being communicated with at once (and thus the amount of differing sets of information being received), vocabulary set being used.

This all seems very complicated: so how are we meant to learn this so subtle skill of communicating effectively? In actuality there are a few separate skills, all of which can improve your communication abilities and that are relevant to all situations you can possibly face. It is not some strange and unintelligible science that is out of reach of most people, but rather it is accepting that to be an effective communicator you must change your communicating style to match that of the person you are communicating with: it is no use expecting them to change for you.

Communication Part 1: Listening/Observing

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Communication can be separated into two parts: the first part is being able to listen and observe. People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (wpm), but they can listen intelligently at 600 to 800 wpm. Since only a part of the mind is paying attention, it is easy to let the mind drift. The cure for this is active and effective listening - which involves listening with a purpose such as to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, show support, etc. By defining your purpose in listening you can moderate your responses to accomplish your purpose.

Active & Effective Listening

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So how do you listen actively? First of all, you must be able to yank your mind back from wherever it might drift during a conversation: being able to concentrate exclusively on someone else can be quite difficult for any length of time. With practice you can listen to others without having random thoughts intrude - many people find that meditation helps with this skill as it trains the mind in exactly this fashion. The second way people are distracted during a conversation is by thinking up the reply while the other person is still speaking - a really easy way to miss the point of what another person is saying! Thirdly, you can focus on many different things to make this more interesting so as to prevent your mind from wandering. Concentrating on body language can do this: see how your correspondent is sitting/standing - is it closed or open (closed is turned away or blocked by another part of the body, such as crossing the arms, open is facing you and arms and legs not blocking the body). Are they looking at you or are they avoiding eye contact? If it is the latter, they may not be interested in the conversation, they may be lying, and they may be uncomfortable. Are they acting nervously by tapping, twitching or fiddling with something? Are they appearing happy/sad/emotionless? Are their facial behaviours matching or contradicting their bodily behaviours (e.g. nervous tapping of the foot yet open body language and happy appearance)?

Build Rapport through Mirroring

Building rapport is vital in ensuring effective communication and while you are listening you are able to do this by mirroring or matching what your correspondent is doing. For example you cross your legs in the same way as them, and put your arms in a similar way, this puts you on the same wavelength as your correspondent and will make them be more receptive to what you have to say when you do get around to saying it. Mirroring can also be done through the use of the specific NLP type vocabulary. Notice any clues for NLP type, for later use in responding. An abbreviated explanation of NLP types: the visual type uses the words “I see what you mean” and similar, while the auditory type uses the words “I hear what you re saying”, and the kinaesthetic will use the words “I feel I understand this”. If you note down what kind of vocabulary is being used, and then use this with them you are more likely to be understood, as well as being more able to be in rapport with them. Try noting down what types your colleagues or your family are: then try deliberately using the wrong type of vocabulary in what you are saying and seeing (visual vocab) what the difference can be to when you use the correct type for the person you are talking to, it flows (kinaesthetic vocab) very differently and you can hear (auditory vocab) the discord.

Communication Part 2: Responding

The first thing to learn in this part is that you will find communication much easier if you are speaking in the same way (tone, tempo and rhythm) as your correspondent: if you usually speak fast, find someone who speaks slowly (or vice versa) and match their tempo when you are talking with them, and then measure how successful that conversation was in comparison to a conversation with them which was entirely on your natural tempo. Be sure you are matching all three (tone, tempo and rhythm) though as most people who say that this doesn t work are not matching all three correctly! Usually this sort of thing is natural: if you ve ever been to the US, you may have noticed that you started ending sentences on an upward inflection automatically: not a typically British way of speaking. You just picked it up from others and naturally matched it. But if you are to be a highly successful communicator you need to be aware of what actually works rather than just stabbing in the dark and going with what comes out of your mouth without you thinking about it.

Use Positive Directions

The second thing that is most important to learn about responding to others is to use positive sentences - I don t mean being nice to people, although that is all to the good, but by expressing your purpose in a specific way: “do this” rather than “do not do this”. The brain works extra hard to create the representation of the thing not to be done and superimposes some kind of negative - and in all the brain processing that happens afterwards the negative frequently gets lost so leaving an extra strong impression of the thing not to be done - without its negative. For example: if I were to say, “Do NOT think of a bright red cat”, what are you thinking of? Most of you will honestly admit to having had some kind of representation of a red cat flash across the mind, furthermore this representation of a red cat will be something you remember more readily than something I say in the positive sense. Also, there is the whole contrary nature of the mind to contend with: there is always the fascination and compulsionwith what we are told not to do, why else does negative psychology work so well with teenagers?

Take a Meta-View

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The last important thing to learn about communication skills is the goal of the communication: you must keep this in mind when entering into any communication for you to be able to measure it s success and thus moderate your future attempts to achieve your goals through communication. If your goal is to cheer up a friend, you will be able to tell if you have been successful by comparing the tone of the friend at the beginning and at the end of the conversation. Or if your goal is to build a relationship more solidly, then you can compare your correspondent s mood before and after each communication: and the attitude with which they receive you. If they are happy to see you all the better, but you can tell something is wrong if they are consistently displeased to see you. For positive proof you need several communications to base your conclusion on: there are other factors at work as well, such as your correspondent s internal mood state - which frequently has very little to do with you - take a “meta-view”stance and see what the overall picture is before coming to any conclusions about your communication skills.

About The Author

Charlotte Burton is a Licensed Career Coach & Psychometric Assessor. For more information and to sign up for the ezine, view the website at www.lifeisvital.com or email charlotte@lifeisvital.com to request your complimentary consultation.

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