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Freedom of Religion

 by: Skye Thomas

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We were all taught in school that our forefathers left England to escape religious dictatorships. Okay, there was a lot more to it then that, but it was a big enough deal that they made sure it got honorable mention in our rulebook. They clearly made the point that we were to have freedom of religion here in America. They also used the word “God” in some of their formal paperwork and even on our money. I don’t want to argue politics here, but rather semantics. They didn’t say “freedom of Christianity,” they said “freedom of religion.” The boys who wrote up all of our formal paperwork were wordsmiths and they debated long and hard to find the perfect set of words to govern ourselves by. It wasn’t decided that we had the freedom to choose whichever form of Christianity that we liked, but whichever form of religion. Religion is in and of itself a much broader concept then Christianity. “God” can mean a lot more then just the Christian definition too.

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No, I don’t agree with all the bickering and arguing over whether or not there should be prayers in school or if the Pledge of Allegiance is constitutional. You can’t stop someone from praying whenever or wherever they choose. Nor can you force a prayer out of someone either. It’s a dumb thing to argue about and not worth being offended over either way. I think it’s important to teach out children what our country’s Pledge of Allegiance is, but I don’t know that it’s right to force anyone to state a pledge, especially children. Seems a bit dictator like and kind of like brainwashing. Teach them what it means. Teach them what prayer means. Teach them what making a pledge of any kind means whether it’s a pledge of one’s allegiance to their country’s flag, a pledge of fidelity to a spouse, or a pledge of loyalty to a boss. But also teach them that in this country we have the freedom to make pledges or not. Teach them that in this country we have the freedom to pray to whoever or whatever we likeand the freedom not to pray. Teach them just how important that freedom is.

I’m saddened when I hear of Pagan’s being persecuted for their spiritual beliefs in this country. Did the Sunday school teachers forget to mention that using the colors green and red for Christmas is Pagan? Did they mention that Christmas lights, yule logs, and wreaths are all Pagan? Did they mention that almost every single Christian holiday is celebrated ironically on top of a Pagan festival? Why do you think we have bunnies, baby chicks, and pretty flowers as part of our Easter celebration? Because it coincides with the Pagan’s celebrations of Spring’s renewal. From what I can see, Pagans aren’t all evil ugly witches anymore than all Christians are white supremacists.

I don’t have a deep knowledge of all of the different religions of the world, but I can tell you that it doesn’t take much research to see that they’re all very much the same. Get past which church uses which secret handshake and which rule book you should follow, and you find that they’re all teaching us to respect each other, to love each other, to conduct yourself with honor, and to be good to the planet and animals that we’re blessed with. The rest is all dogma and debatable. Nobody has any real concrete proof that their particular form of God is the only one. Who’s to say that God or Jesus isn’t wise enough to visit more than once using different names and different forms? Wouldn’t it make sense given the size of the planet that the rest of the world would need to be given a fair chance at knowing about God too? Is Buddha so very different from Jesus? Their teachings are incredibly similar. Why limit God to a concept that only fits what your particular culture or region of the world knows about?

Another thing that always puzzled me is why prophets and seers are allowed to channel holy books and tell of the Messiah’s coming, but then we’re told by the churches that being psychic is demonic? It seems a bit contradictory to me. Every psychic I’ve ever met lost power over their visions if they weren’t acting in the highest good. Most of the psychics I’ve met believe very deeply in a form of God or some sort of a higher magical loving guidance over us. They’re visions into the other side created that belief. There’s nothing quite like chatting with the All-Mighty to make a believer out of you. Isn’t prayer in and of itself a form of telepathic psychic connection with the other side?

It just seems to me that if we quit arguing over what words, labels, and names we give these concepts and quit arguing over methods of prayer and such that we’d see that we’re all so much more alike then we are different. I’ve known three different Catholic men who fell in love with the Buddhist faith because it so beautifully highlights the teachings of Christ. I really believe that is what we’re meant to do. All of the holy books tell us to love one another. You can’t truly love someone if you don’t take the time to really get to know them and what they stand for. Shouldn’t we learn about each other from a place of love rather than from a place of judgement? Nobody can prove that anyone else’s religion is wrong and nobody can prove that theirs is right. Too many translators over the course of history to be able to be 100% sure about anything any more. We can’t really assume that the others are completely wrong and we can’t assume that our own religion is completely right. Religion and God isso much more than we can fully understand at this time.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

About The Author Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to http://www.TomorrowsEdge.net. This stuff is exceedingly fantastic still some readers are doubtful about its gains. It gave happiness to those who were on the lookout of love one another. For a couple of them it was unproductive in nature. Only you have the ability to be the excellent judge of this article. Be ready to finish and sense the stuff of this report. Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

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(1) You can only receive monetary increase, favor and
prosperity, if you hand your life over in FAITH to God and KNOW
your purpose.

(2) When you trust in God, you will discover your purpose.

(3) We (God’s followers) completely ELIMINATE business risk,
when giving our service to others, for God’s promise is that we
get back a multiple of what we give.

(4) You have to be a good receiver. When you trust God, you
faithfully receive all that was promised to Abram (then
Abraham), and his seed, Christ, without any physical work to
help bring about this promise.

(5) As Christians, we have the duty to produce ourselves to the
world as healthy, joyful and prospering individuals, with
complete peace of mind, only found in Christ.

(6) With our advancement into wealthy status, we are to provoke
the rebellious Jews and the rest of the world to jealousy.

(7) Only when you have sufficient funds to your avail can you
live your life to the fullest and spread love and kindness to as
many people as you can reach.

(8) You are to receive your increase through other (nonbeliever)
people into the channel of barter (products & services for
products & services), or exchange (money for products &
services) you have established.

(9) According to your desire to live large or not so, you must
set the standard of giving and receiving money.

(10) You must use the wisdom you learn every day from the bible
and the spiritual teachings (intuition) with which God opens the
door for you spiritually bringing you great wealth and riches.
Every one of us can decide how large we want to live, and begin
giving large in order to receive increase from multiple sources.

(11) The more abundance you expect and demand in your life, the
wealthier you become. Broaden your abilities to receive what God
has in store for you and pray. See www.telechurch.org (All
about Believer’s Entrepreneurialism ) for the mechanics of
prayer. (Mark 11:24. Therefore I say unto you, What things
soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them,
and ye shall have them.)

(12) You have to establish a channel within the existing
economic system, meaning that your J-O-B won’t cut it. You must
be in business for yourself.

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(13) You cannot expect the blessings onto the work of your hands
to benefit you, if your work benefits your employer. You must
OWN your own business. Thus, God is blessing the work you do and
your employer expands and gets richer.

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(14) You must go out in faith, and completely without fear, and
establish your own business, creatively, based on your
personality.

(15) You are not to buy risky shares in other people’s
businesses, but to expand your own business and leave it to your
heirs. (Proverbs 13:22. A good man leaveth an inheritance to his
children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for
the just.)

(16) You have to teach your children what you know about
business. (Proverbs 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should
go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.) They are
NOT supposed to work for a (non-faithful) employer.

(17) Your relationship with God decides over your way of life.
If you are in the right standing with God, you live in an
exalted position of favor and preferential treatment in regards
to wealth.

(18) When you become willing to receive a lot of favor, which is
dependent on your hearing the wisdom of the bible and God’s
promises, you are enabled to live and rule like a king, or queen

(19) Always follow a successful role model. The greatest
entrepreneur and most powerful leader of all times was Jesus.
Not only did he encourage his followers, he performed miracles
for them. As a carpenter and builder, he organized, managed and
assumed the risks of his daily business. His 12 entrepreneurial
disciples were trained for 2 years in management. His messages
are still being passed on.

(20) Once you are wealthy, the world will listen to you. Now it
is time to preach the Gospel to each person with whom you come
into contact.

(21) By God’s law, you are not permitted to judge any one,
condemn another person, but you are obligated to FORGIVE.

(22) With Christ’s death before his resurrection, you no longer
owe God a debt. Your sins have been forgiven. The curse that
was pronounced to Adam is no longer. You now enjoy dominion
over the earth again.

(23) First, you are to get out into the business world and
educate yourself how it operates. Then, the spirit of God will
move on your behalf. The world will finally note your confidence
in Christ and want to follow, for they desire the same power and
authority. You have become a light over the people who live in
darkness, without true faith (even if they attend church
regularly).

(24) God wants to give his church a great name. Walk from glory
to glory, allowing God to use you for that purpose in
successfully running your own business.

(25) You yourself are in control of NOTHING. You are a subject
of theocracy, not ‘democracy’. God puts His souls into authority
over you and you are to submit to such authority, until you
yourself are ordained via your good standing with God.
(Romans 13:1. Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers.
For there is no power but of God; the powers that be are
ordained of God.)

(26) Until you fully appreciate God’s wisdom and know how to
use it successfully, you are still a child in God’s eyes. If you
don’t honor your mother and father, you are promised a short
life. However, if you honor your parents, you receive the power
to dominate the earth.

(27) Your parents, who were in possession of your right to power
and success, are supposed to give you the blessing of success as
you become ready. If they don’t you, struggle for power and
success. Most parents have their children go to a public school,
give them a pad on the back upon graduation instead of a true
blessing, and watch them struggle through a lifetime of
problems.

If your parents have not done this for you, as a minister on
behalf of our beloved God I now release the power in you:

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“I bless you with the unlimited success and power you must
possess as a positive, non-competitive but creative entrepreneur
to establish yourself in the business world with a $multi-
million business that stays in your family for many lifetimes
and contributes greatly to the progress of all.”

(Please, tell me about your success!)

(28) You, in turn, must honor your children and bless them when
ready the same way.

(29) You can only RECEIVE grace and favor. You cannot buy, or
earn, pray or beg for grace and favor from God. (Romans 10:7.
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of
God.) If you HEAR (with your spiritual ear) the word of God, not
when you READ the scripture, you were chosen by God to have
grace and favor. To you, the Word of God is a live person
(Christ), and you were chosen before your birth to do great
things with your life. (Hebrews 4:12. For the word of God is
quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword,
piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of
the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and
intents of the heart.)

(30) Once you have the favor of Christ passed on to you, others
will bestow upon you their favor as well. You will look good to
other people and success will march in faster than you could
have imagined. You continue to attract other people and their
resources for your purpose.

(31) If you are still trying to please God through what you DO,
STOP now and think!! The gift of righteousness is FREE-Jesus.
You are no longer a sinner due to Christ’s earthly appearance.
You are FREED and already forgiven of all sin. You are now
supposed to BELIEVE in Christ, 100%, at least as a ‘thank you’
for what he did for us. You can only please God through Christ.
When you do, you will reign as a king, or priest. No one can
deny you that.

(32) When you stop working and become humble, you receive
God’s grace. After God gave you His favor, He leads you daily
on your path to the fulfillment of your destiny, in the image
of himself, visible to all. You can rest assured other people
will work for you as you are the leader. You are wealthy and
now capable of spreading the Gospel. God will lift you up over
every one else, and constantly pour out His favor upon your
endeavors.

(33) When God’s glory is revealed in your life you are at the
point of fulfilling the destiny that God has planned for you.
You see God in everything. His prosperity assures your
successful outcome in all your doings. If you are ‘washed-up’
now, your neighbors will ask how you managed to turn your
situation around. They will be provoked to get into the glory of
God. You give your testimony, and help Christ save souls. Do it
now! Go into business and prosper with God against all odds! You
are here to do greater work on God’s behalf than Christ in His
time. Victory!

This is a synopsis of the book “God wants you to be an
Entrepreneur” by Rickey Singleton. Get the book here:
http://money.inabliss.com/entrepreneur.htm
Support his ministry!

About the Author

Godly Covenants & Principles for Entrepreneurs
Provided courtesy of Ina Bliss of www.telechurch.org and
http://odessabusiness.inabliss.com

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4 Tips to Help You Find a Reputable Mesothelioma Lawyer

 by: Robert Linebaugh

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Mesothelioma is a rare form of cancer that affects the sac lining the chest (the pleura), the lining around the heart (the pericardium), or the lining of the abdominal cavity (the peritoneum). Studies have shown that people, who suffer from the disease mesothelioma, were exposed to an abundance of asbestos at one time or another in their life. Unfortunately, many people become exposed to asbestos unknowingly, usually as part of a job. Because of this, someone who has mesothelioma is often entitled to compensation. There are many mesothelioma lawyers, but the following easy tips can make it easier to find a mesothelioma lawyer.

1. Research all you can concerning mesothelioma. The more you understand the disease affecting you or a loved one, the better you will be able to judge a lawyer s expertise. A lawyer who understands many aspects about the disease is the ideal lawyer. If your lawyer understands your or your loved one s symptoms, and complications stemming from the disease, he or she will be better able to defend you. Unfortunately, some lawyers do not do their homework in regards to medical cases. This often leads to losing cases. A reputable lawyer will certainly know the ins and outs of the disease, so be sure to ask as many questions as you can think of.

2. Use phone books and Internet search engines to find lawyers. This may seem simple, but some people don t bother taking the time to look through many lawyers. Accepting the first lawyer that calls, or that one sees on TV is not a good idea. Searching in Google for the keyword mesothelioma lawyer will yield better results in the end than simply accepting whatever lawyer comes along. Giving yourself a variety of lawyers to consider will give you the best idea of who will be willing to work hardest for you, who is sincere, and who will most likely help you win your claim.

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3. Read the fine print, and know your lawyer s case history. Once you are nearing your decision and narrowing down potential candidates, take your research to a new level. It is always a good idea to find out about a lawyer s case history. Additionally, it is advisable to know exactly what kind of deal the lawyer is seeking with you. Lawyers dealing with medical-related lawsuits usually do not get paid unless they win the settlement. Some lawyers request different percentages. Compare these requests and choose the lawyer that you would feel most comfortable with. Unfortunately, some lawyers might try to take advantage of an unknowing client. In order to protect your interests, and make sure you acquire the top-notch lawyer you deserve, do background research on lawyers before signing up.

4. Finally, don t be afraid to take advice. If a friend, or colleague suggests a lawyer, don t hesitate to check it out. If a friend refers you, he or she obviously has your best interests at heart, and so the lawyer is probably well qualified to take on your case. There are many groups out there for mesothelioma patients. If you or a loved one is in one of these groups, don t hesitate to ask for advice from others who have mesothelioma. Advice is often taken for granted, but it is one of the most valuable things a friend can give.

Mesothelioma is an awful disease, but there is compensation. This compensation can either be sought in a wrongful death suit, or while the patient is still living. It is advisable to find a lawyer as quickly as possible because there is often a statute of limitations on filing a lawsuit. The basic idea when searching for a mesothelioma lawyer is to be as educated as possible. Know what you want, and find a lawyer that is willing to help you in any way possible. Being well informed about your disease and potential lawyers will put you on the path to compensation.

About The Author Robert Linebaugh writes about a variety of health topics, but focuses on mesothelioma. Learn more at http://www.justmeso.com. This report is exceptionally excellent still some readers are doubtful about its positives. This stuff is an extra mileage for those folks who were on the lookout of addiction as a spiritual disease. For a couple of them it was unyielding in nature. You are the excellent judge for addiction as a spiritual disease. Just understand all the words to get the worth of this article. robertlinebaugh@yahoo.com

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Motorcycle Accidents: Preparing Your Case

 by: Blur Loterina

Motorcycle accident is an unexpected occurrence that results to shock and trauma, serious physical injuries and death. The most common reason of a motorcycle accident, which contributed to the 50% of the motorcycle vehicle, is due to the failure of another motorist to see the motorcycle. It is estimated that 75% of motorcycle accidents involve another motor vehicle, two-thirds of which were caused by the motorist failing to yield the right of way. Motorcycle accidents not only involve driver s negligence, it also includes product defect and unsafe roadways.

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Motorcycle accident happens so fast that we are not able to control it. During an accident, we cannot do much, especially when we are injured. We cannot think of anything but the pain that we are suffering. It is essential for us to know the things that we have to do after the accident.

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In situations wherein you are still able to talk, walk and move without difficulty, you might as well do the following steps. Get the name, address, phone number, driver s license number, and other significant information about the other driver involved in the accident. Also, get the names, address and phone numbers of the witnesses, if there is any. Ask if they can give some statement and record the conversation. Take note of important visual information, like scratches and marks on the car and the weather condition. If you do not have pen or any writing materials, review the scene in your mind so that you can remember it. You have to tell the police exactly what happened. Assist the police with the investigation, be cooperative. Take pictures of the cars involved in the accident in different angles.

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If you were injured or feel any pain or discomfort, seek medical attention immediately. A delay may raise questions whether the injury was caused by the accident or not. Have your wounds photographed, they heal quickly. You might need it during a case hearing or investigation. Have a copy of all medical reports as well as the hospital bills.

It is advisable for you to go back to where the accident occurred. Bring writing and recording materials with you. You might find more evidence and witnesses. If you re going to take a picture, get somebody to witness it. Do not touch anything.

After gathering all the data, examine them. There might be something that can prove that it is you who is at fault.

Consult an attorney before filling out any documents or giving your statement. You might also need a lawyer to assist you in filling important papers, assist in court proceedings, and getting your claims.

About The Author You may wonder why I write articles. Besides from the fact that it s my job, I used to write short stories when I was younger. I think it would be helpful if I said I m a big fan of Zach de la Rocha and Rage Against the Machine. This would explain my own views about a lot of things. Their songs were about national issues, politics and human rights. They support the American Indian Movement and Che Guevara, the face you see on t-shirts. Not that it concerns me. I only like their music and idealism. I like to read anything that contains words in the old English form, though I can t understand it. You know, the King James Version of the Bible with words like thou, thy, thine, wilst, etc. The words used are different. The construction of the sentence is different, too, which makes sentences sound artistic. I also like gothic metal, a music genre, because most of the lyrics contain such words. It is not only the words that fascinate me; it s the hidden meaning it contains. It s like an abstract painting; you don t get the real picture until you see through it. I m not an artist, I m not a poet. I just love writing anything I want. I wasn t born a genius, I just want to know and understand something I don t. I like to find the difference between similar things. It s like counting birthmarks on each identical twin. For additional legal information and inquiries about the article log on to http://www.attorneyservicesetc.com carmelo@attorneyservicesetc.com

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Violence in the family often follows other forms of more subtle and long-term abuse: verbal, emotional, psychological sexual, or financial.

It is closely correlated with alcoholism, drug consumption, intimate-partner homicide, teen pregnancy, infant and child mortality, spontaneous abortion, reckless behaviours, suicide, and the onset of mental health disorders.

Most abusers and batterers are males - but a significant minority are women. This being a “Women’s Issue”, the problem was swept under the carpet for generations and only recently has it come to public awareness. Yet, even today, society - for instance, through the court and the mental health systems - largely ignores domestic violence and abuse in the family. This induces feelings of shame and guilt in the victims and “legitimizes” the role of the abuser.

Violence in the family is mostly spousal - one spouse beating, raping, or otherwise physically harming and torturing the other. But children are also and often victims - either directly, or indirectly. Other vulnerable familial groups include the elderly and the disabled.

Abuse and violence cross geographical and cultural boundaries and social and economic strata. It is common among the rich and the poor, the well-educated and the less so, the young and the middle-aged, city dwellers and rural folk. It is a universal phenomenon.

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Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the “silent treatment”), manipulate, and control.

There are many ways to abuse. To love too much is to abuse. It is tantamount to treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification. To be over-protective, not to respect privacy, to be brutally honest, with a sadistic sense of humour, or consistently tactless is to abuse.

To expect too much, to denigrate, to ignore are all modes of abuse. There is physical abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, sexual abuse. The list is long. Most abusers abuse surreptitiously. They are “stealth abusers”. You have to actually live with one in order to witness the abuse.

There are three important categories of abuse:

Overt Abuse

The open and explicit abuse of another person. Threatening, coercing, beating, lying, berating, demeaning, chastising, insulting, humiliating, exploiting, ignoring (”silent treatment”), devaluing, unceremoniously discarding, verbal abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse are all forms of overt abuse.

Covert or Controlling Abuse

Abuse is almost entirely about control. It is often a primitive and immature reaction to life circumstances in which the abuser (usually in his childhood) was rendered helpless. It is about re-exerting one’s identity, re-establishing predictability, mastering the environment human and physical.

The bulk of abusive behaviours can be traced to this panicky reaction to the remote potential for loss of control. Many abusers are hypochondriacs (and difficult patients) because they are afraid to lose control over their body, its looks and its proper functioning. They are obsessive-compulsive in an effort to subdue their physical habitat and render it foreseeable. They stalk people and harass them as a means of “being in touch” another form of control.

To the abuser, nothing exists outside himself. Meaningful others are extensions, internal, assimilated, objects not external ones. Thus, losing control over a significant other is equivalent to losing control of a limb, or of one’s brain. It is terrifying.

Independent or disobedient people evoke in the abuser the realization that something is wrong with his worldview, that he is not the centre of the world or its cause and that he cannot control what, to him, are internal representations.

To the abuser, losing control means going insane. Because other people are mere elements in the abuser’s mind being unable to manipulate them literally means losing it (his mind). Imagine, if you suddenly were to find out that you cannot manipulate your memories or control your thoughts… Nightmarish!

In his frantic efforts to maintain control or re-assert it, the abuser resorts to a myriad of fiendishly inventive stratagems and mechanisms. Here is a partial list:

Unpredictability and Uncertainty

The abuser acts unpredictably, capriciously, inconsistently and irrationally. This serves to render others dependent upon the next twist and turn of the abuser, his next inexplicable whim, upon his next outburst, denial, or smile.

The abuser makes sure that HE is the only reliable element in the lives of his nearest and dearest by shattering the rest of their world through his seemingly insane behaviour. He perpetuates his stable presence in their lives by destabilizing their own.

TIP

Refuse to accept such behaviour. Demand reasonably predictable and rational actions and reactions. Insist on respect for your boundaries, predilections, preferences, and priorities.

Disproportional Reactions

One of the favourite tools of manipulation in the abuser’s arsenal is the disproportionality of his reactions. He reacts with supreme rage to the slightest slight. Or, he would punish severely for what he perceives to be an offence against him, no matter how minor. Or, he would throw a temper tantrum over any discord or disagreement, however gently and considerately expressed. Or, he would act inordinately attentive, charming and tempting (even over-sexed, if need be).

This ever-shifting code of conduct and the unusually harsh and arbitrarily applied penalties are premeditated. The victims are kept in the dark. Neediness and dependence on the source of “justice” meted and judgment passed on the abuser are thus guaranteed.

TIP

Demand a just and proportional treatment. Reject or ignore unjust and capricious behaviour.

If you are up to the inevitable confrontation, react in kind. Let him taste some of his own medicine.

Dehumanization and Objectification (Abuse)

People have a need to believe in the empathic skills and basic good-heartedness of others. By dehumanizing and objectifying people the abuser attacks the very foundations of human interaction. This is the “alien” aspect of abusers they may be excellent imitations of fully formed adults but they are emotionally absent and immature.

Abuse is so horrid, so repulsive, so phantasmagoric that people recoil in terror. It is then, with their defences absolutely down, that they are the most susceptible and vulnerable to the abuser’s control. Physical, psychological, verbal and sexual abuse are all forms of dehumanization and objectification.

TIP

Never show your abuser that you are afraid of him. Do not negotiate with bullies. They are insatiable. Do not succumb to blackmail.

If things get rough disengage, involve law enforcement officers, friends and colleagues, or threaten him (legally).

Do not keep your abuse a secret. Secrecy is the abuser’s weapon.

Never give him a second chance. React with your full arsenal to the first transgression.

Abuse of Information

From the first moments of an encounter with another person, the abuser is on the prowl. He collects information. The more he knows about his potential victim the better able he is to coerce, manipulate, charm, extort or convert it “to the cause”. The abuser does not hesitate to misuse the information he gleaned, regardless of its intimate nature or the circumstances in which he obtained it. This is a powerful tool in his armory.

TIP

Be guarded. Don’t be too forthcoming in a first or casual meeting. Gather intelligence.

Be yourself. Don’t misrepresent your wishes, boundaries, preferences, priorities, and red lines.

Do not behave inconsistently. Do not go back on your word. Be firm and resolute.

Impossible Situations

The abuser engineers impossible, dangerous, unpredictable, unprecedented, or highly specific situations in which he is sorely needed. The abuser makes sure that his knowledge, his skills, his connections, or his traits are the only ones applicable and the most useful in the situations that he, himself, wrought. The abuser generates his own indispensability.

TIP

Stay away from such quagmires. Scrutinize every offer and suggestion, no matter how innocuous.

Prepare backup plans. Keep others informed of your whereabouts and appraised of your situation.

Be vigilant and doubting. Do not be gullible and suggestible. Better safe than sorry.

Control by Proxy

If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours, the media, teachers in short, third parties to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate his target. He controls these unaware instruments exactly as he plans to control his ultimate prey. He employs the same mechanisms and devices. And he dumps his props unceremoniously when the job is done.

Another form of control by proxy is to engineer situations in which abuse is inflicted upon another person. Such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment and humiliation provoke social sanctions (condemnation, opprobrium, or even physical punishment) against the victim. Society, or a social group become the instruments of the abuser.

TIP

Often the abuser’s proxies are unaware of their role. Expose him. Inform them. Demonstrate to them how they are being abused, misused, and plain used by the abuser.

Trap your abuser. Treat him as he treats you. Involve others. Bring it into the open. Nothing like sunshine to disinfest abuse.

Ambient Abuse

Goodness gracious. Further parts of the article could be a treat to the expert. Bask in reading more and more as selected valuable minutiae would follow.

The fostering, propagation and enhancement of an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, instability, unpredictability and irritation. There are no acts of traceable explicit abuse, nor any manipulative settings of control. Yet, the irksome feeling remains, a disagreeable foreboding, a premonition, a bad omen. This is sometimes called “gaslighting”.

In the long term, such an environment erodes the victim’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Self-confidence is shaken badly. Often, the victim adopts a paranoid or schizoid stance and thus renders himself or herself exposed even more to criticism and judgment. The roles are thus reversed: the victim is considered mentally deranged and the abuser the suffering soul.

TIP

Run! Get away! Ambient abuse often develops to overt and violent abuse.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation - but you owe yourself a life. Bail out.

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About the Author

Sam Vaknin is the author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East. He is a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, and eBookWeb , a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent, and the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory Bellaonline, and Suite101 .

Visit Sam’s Web site at http://samvak.tripod.com

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